you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
