You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
