Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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