so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
