ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize