They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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