We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
