You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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