seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
