16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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