Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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