Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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