Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
