I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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