some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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