we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
