wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
