To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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