I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
