This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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