we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize