I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
