mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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