'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Damn victory sex feels great
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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