Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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