if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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