I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
