I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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