This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
