one might say we're banned from that church
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
