Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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