It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
