After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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