I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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