just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So apparently I’m into choking now
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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