isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
