If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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