um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
