4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
