I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
