so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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