Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
