I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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