it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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