I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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