If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Fuck appropriateness.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
