theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
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you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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