We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
