Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
