all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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