Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
