if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
