Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
