What did we do last night that was yellow?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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