I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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