So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
