i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
