I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
