I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize