So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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