i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
