He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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