i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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