I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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